We had some really great news today Peanut! Aunt Erin and Uncle Matt are pregnant! So, when you finally decide to make your presence known again, you will have another cousin to potentially play with.
I am very very happy for Erin and Matt... I do however think it is officially weird that my baby sister, who is 10 years younger than me, will be a Mom before I will be.
You need to get to gettin' Peanut!
Love ya,
Mommy
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
A Proper Burial
Dear Peanut,
'Sigh'. It's been almost 2 weeks since you announced your abrupt departure from our family. I think I have mostly recovered and am now planning for your return. In the meantime I have channeled my mommy energy into giving Kelby belly rubs.
The week you died. The week you died. There isn't much more to say after that.
I do see that your death whipped mother nature into a frenzy though. Daddy and I have spent the better part of the last week holed up in the house with Kelby due to 2 back-to-back snowstorms... unheard of for Maryland.
So now we are surrounded by 3'-4' of snow and except where Kelby made the pee-pee, I think this snow serves as your perfect burial. I am hoping and praying that once the snow melts and the ground thaws, you will come back into our lives; just like the blossoming trees of Spring.
Until then, enjoy your rest little Peanut.
I still love you,
Mommy
'Sigh'. It's been almost 2 weeks since you announced your abrupt departure from our family. I think I have mostly recovered and am now planning for your return. In the meantime I have channeled my mommy energy into giving Kelby belly rubs.
The week you died. The week you died. There isn't much more to say after that.
I do see that your death whipped mother nature into a frenzy though. Daddy and I have spent the better part of the last week holed up in the house with Kelby due to 2 back-to-back snowstorms... unheard of for Maryland.
So now we are surrounded by 3'-4' of snow and except where Kelby made the pee-pee, I think this snow serves as your perfect burial. I am hoping and praying that once the snow melts and the ground thaws, you will come back into our lives; just like the blossoming trees of Spring.
Until then, enjoy your rest little Peanut.
I still love you,
Mommy
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
You really have us worried....
Okay Peanut,
Maybe I didn't make myself clear earlier when I said that your first heartbeat shouldn't go to your head. Daddy and I also don't want you rockin' out so hard to your new heartbeat that you make Mommy bleed and cramp up.
So, this is limbo week. I woke up yesterday at about 630AM with a sharp pinch followed by very painful cramping and yep, you guessed it... bleeding. Not the benign bleeding either but scary bright red bleeding with blood clots and everything (Sorry future readers but it is important to note that when a new Mom sees blood clots it really really freaks her out!). Daddy and I thought for sure you had decided to bail on us but when we went to Dr. Sun's office, she said that it was possible I wasn't miscarrying after all. We are holding very tightly onto that hope. Basically, the doctor said my cervix was high (a good sign that I am pregnant) but during the ultrasound the doc couldn't see a gestational sac in my uterus. Basically, my uterus was empty. So, here are the two possibilities. 1. You bailed on us already. 2. I am having a "threatened miscarriage". Dr. Sun informed us that since I am blessed with PCOS and my cycle is erratic at best (even with clomid I guess), that I might have ovulated later than January 7th. That would mean that you aren't as grown up as we thought.
The bleeding is still a bad sign but thanks to the internet, I have found tons of discrete examples of Mommies who had bleeding like this and then went on to have healthy pregnancies. Still, you have me worried. So, for what is the first (and I hope not the last) time in your life... turn your music down! :-)
As an aside... I know you are barely even a dot at this point but I don't understand how any Mom could ever want to purposefully end the life of a baby who is even as tiny as a spec. Peanut... I feel you. I know you are there. I love you. I could never give you up voluntarily. It will devastate me if you decide to bail on us now... but I know you will come back. Just like the prodigal son. You will be the prodigal peanut.... I just hope it won't be an indication that you will always be late to everything. ;-)
Love you Peanut,
Mommy
Maybe I didn't make myself clear earlier when I said that your first heartbeat shouldn't go to your head. Daddy and I also don't want you rockin' out so hard to your new heartbeat that you make Mommy bleed and cramp up.
So, this is limbo week. I woke up yesterday at about 630AM with a sharp pinch followed by very painful cramping and yep, you guessed it... bleeding. Not the benign bleeding either but scary bright red bleeding with blood clots and everything (Sorry future readers but it is important to note that when a new Mom sees blood clots it really really freaks her out!). Daddy and I thought for sure you had decided to bail on us but when we went to Dr. Sun's office, she said that it was possible I wasn't miscarrying after all. We are holding very tightly onto that hope. Basically, the doctor said my cervix was high (a good sign that I am pregnant) but during the ultrasound the doc couldn't see a gestational sac in my uterus. Basically, my uterus was empty. So, here are the two possibilities. 1. You bailed on us already. 2. I am having a "threatened miscarriage". Dr. Sun informed us that since I am blessed with PCOS and my cycle is erratic at best (even with clomid I guess), that I might have ovulated later than January 7th. That would mean that you aren't as grown up as we thought.
The bleeding is still a bad sign but thanks to the internet, I have found tons of discrete examples of Mommies who had bleeding like this and then went on to have healthy pregnancies. Still, you have me worried. So, for what is the first (and I hope not the last) time in your life... turn your music down! :-)
As an aside... I know you are barely even a dot at this point but I don't understand how any Mom could ever want to purposefully end the life of a baby who is even as tiny as a spec. Peanut... I feel you. I know you are there. I love you. I could never give you up voluntarily. It will devastate me if you decide to bail on us now... but I know you will come back. Just like the prodigal son. You will be the prodigal peanut.... I just hope it won't be an indication that you will always be late to everything. ;-)
Love you Peanut,
Mommy
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Your first heartbeat
Dear Peanut,
Yep, that is what David and I are calling you right now. I suppose we should really be calling you "dot", or "grain of rice," but peanut resonated with us. Don't worry that won't be your real name. We decided a long time ago that if you turn out to be a boy, you will be named James Roger. If you turn out to be a girl, you will be named Lillian Ann. I will tell you more about that later. For now, I just wanted to say "hi" and let you know that your Mommy (that would be me), Daddy, and big brother Kelby, are all very excited that you have decided to join our family party.
So, how did you come into being? Well, I have to say that your Daddy and I have been trying to goad you into making your presence known for quite some time. We had been trying for about 2 years and finally, thanks to the help of Clomid and a very romantic Bavarian Christmas vacation, God blessed us with the hope of you. The precise date and time that you made your presence known was about 7AM on January 23, 2010. It was a Saturday morning and I took a pregnancy test when I woke up almost on a whim. I really didn't think I was pregnant but hadn't received my monthly newsletter yet so I took the plunge. When you surprised me with a positive test, I opened the door to the bathroom, petted Kelby on the head, and got into bed where Daddy was fast asleep. I sat crossed-legged on the bed and stroked your Daddy's back until he woke up. As David sat up I showed him the postive pregnancy test and he responded to my big smiled announcement of, "I'm pregnant" with a smile of his own and tears of joy.
So far I can't feel you and wouldn't really know you were there except for the fact that my boobies are really sore and I get tired more easily. However, according to one of the 15 pregnancy books we have (yes, your Mommy tends to go overboard... you'll get used to it), your heartbeat probably started beating today. Congrats on your first milestone Peanut! Don't let that early success get to your head. Ha ha ha....
Well, I have to tell you that I am in love with you already. So, for now... good night my sweet baby. I love you.
Yep, that is what David and I are calling you right now. I suppose we should really be calling you "dot", or "grain of rice," but peanut resonated with us. Don't worry that won't be your real name. We decided a long time ago that if you turn out to be a boy, you will be named James Roger. If you turn out to be a girl, you will be named Lillian Ann. I will tell you more about that later. For now, I just wanted to say "hi" and let you know that your Mommy (that would be me), Daddy, and big brother Kelby, are all very excited that you have decided to join our family party.
So, how did you come into being? Well, I have to say that your Daddy and I have been trying to goad you into making your presence known for quite some time. We had been trying for about 2 years and finally, thanks to the help of Clomid and a very romantic Bavarian Christmas vacation, God blessed us with the hope of you. The precise date and time that you made your presence known was about 7AM on January 23, 2010. It was a Saturday morning and I took a pregnancy test when I woke up almost on a whim. I really didn't think I was pregnant but hadn't received my monthly newsletter yet so I took the plunge. When you surprised me with a positive test, I opened the door to the bathroom, petted Kelby on the head, and got into bed where Daddy was fast asleep. I sat crossed-legged on the bed and stroked your Daddy's back until he woke up. As David sat up I showed him the postive pregnancy test and he responded to my big smiled announcement of, "I'm pregnant" with a smile of his own and tears of joy.
So far I can't feel you and wouldn't really know you were there except for the fact that my boobies are really sore and I get tired more easily. However, according to one of the 15 pregnancy books we have (yes, your Mommy tends to go overboard... you'll get used to it), your heartbeat probably started beating today. Congrats on your first milestone Peanut! Don't let that early success get to your head. Ha ha ha....
Well, I have to tell you that I am in love with you already. So, for now... good night my sweet baby. I love you.
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